I Fixed Twitter

Just now, while walking my dogs around the neighborhood, I fixed Twitter. Here:

– Everyone with a Twitter account is subjected to a verification process to prove that they are who they say they are. Everyone is verified, no one is anonymous.

– Users are divided into two groups, Creators and Readers.

– Twitter publicizes the metrics it uses to decide which group you’re placed in. Name recognition, follower count, tweet quantity and tweet quality, as measured by likes and RTs, plus a more subjective qualitative judgement – are you a journalist breaking scoops on Twitter, a comedian making original jokes, a very good curator of cat videos?

– Creators have free access to the site but can pay extra for an ad-free experience.

– Readers pay a small monthly fee to access the site and can pay extra for ad-free.

– Regardless of what group you’re in, you can tweet as much as you want and follow whoever you want.

– Group placement is regularly reviewed so that Readers can be given the opportunity to become Creators and Creators can be bumped down to Readers.

– Twitter takes responsibility for moderating the content of all Creators, but not Readers. Readers can post all the hate speech and misinformation they want. This way, content moderation is more feasible and affordable. However, Reader RTs are capped. Readers can post whatever they want but no single post of theirs can be RT’d more than, say, 500 times.

There you go. Good luck everyone!

Hear ad-free episodes before anyone else!!!